I might be faded but I’m not phased

I’ve been feeling the weight of my decisions, or lack thereof

Lord knows I’ve been thinking, searching sort of

I haven’t been going out much lately

by choice or innately

I’ve been feeling the weight of existence

everything seems a little distant

far from me – with a question like

how do I even live my daily life right

unequipped for the small things

unfathomably fading futuristically speaking

I’ve been feeling the weight of the moment

I try to free myself from it

not get shackled and made a prisoner of it

but then the moment passes me by

why do I gotta try to live up to my potential

have I lied to myself for too long

bought and sang the wrong theme song

gotta make some plans sometimes

follow the mountaintop lines

I’m feeling the weight of others’ perceptions

Lord knows I’ve got a couple misconceptions

I need to explore my first instincts

don’t run from the room for instance

but this is the wrong room – the wrong crowd

good chance my thoughts won’t be expressed out loud

a false sense of closeness is knit tightly into the space

find me by the bookcase with a face fit for a court case

I’m drowning in this cover conversation

contributing close to nothing

I’m not proud of the life I lead

my hands are in rough shape

future muddier than a marsh

do these last two years even count as living

give me a couple months and get back to me

like that will change a thing

I lost the flow of this piece a few phrases back

where do we go from here