I might be faded but I’m not phased

I’ve been feeling the weight of my decisions, or lack thereof
Lord knows I’ve been thinking, searching sort of
I haven’t been going out much lately
by choice or innately
I’ve been feeling the weight of existence
everything seems a little distant
far from me – with a question like
how do I even live my daily life right
unequipped for the small things
unfathomably fading futuristically speaking
I’ve been feeling the weight of the moment
I try to free myself from it
not get shackled and made a prisoner of it
but then the moment passes me by
why do I gotta try to live up to my potential
have I lied to myself for too long
bought and sang the wrong theme song
gotta make some plans sometimes
follow the mountaintop lines
I’m feeling the weight of others’ perceptions
Lord knows I’ve got a couple misconceptions
I need to explore my first instincts
don’t run from the room for instance
but this is the wrong room – the wrong crowd
good chance my thoughts won’t be expressed out loud
a false sense of closeness is knit tightly into the space
find me by the bookcase with a face fit for a court case
I’m drowning in this cover conversation
contributing close to nothing
I’m not proud of the life I lead
my hands are in rough shape
future muddier than a marsh
do these last two years even count as living
give me a couple months and get back to me
like that will change a thing
I lost the flow of this piece a few phrases back
where do we go from here

One thought on “I might be faded but I’m not phased

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