Too ______

I sit down to do some rushed writing

It’s a step in my routine that I’m too stubborn to break

I guess that says something

Whatever that may be

After

I’ll go about working on a project that I’ve been creating for awhile now

Well not for too long

Long enough to feel some slight distain towards it whenever I try and immerse myself in it

Long enough to be bothered by its problems and personality like it was a living creature

Long enough to audibly say ‘ahhh shit’ whenever I get a breakthrough of any kind

Long enough to have its grey cloud over me even when I’m not working on it

Long enough for me to Google the definition of ‘perfectionist’ at least once a week

Okay damn

It has been too long

Although

I should really dedicate some time to getting my life on track

I’ve taken too much time off

But who wants to dive into that messy endeavor

Plus it feels like my subconscious is always gnawing at it anyways

Not that it’s completely off track

More like a half on half off thing

Grinding because one side isn’t properly in place

Metal on metal

Sparks flying

High pitch screech

Signs of disaster looming in the near future

That sort of thing

Then

I guess I’ll consume content and entertainment and etc.

Fill my head to the brim

Hope it pushes out some purgeable material and takes its place instead

I mean what else is a human being supp-

Never mind

I’m too distracted and too impatient to finish this shit

I did give far warning that this was rushed writing

But apologies anyways