Too ______

I sit down to do some rushed writing
It’s a step in my routine that I’m too stubborn to break
I guess that says something
Whatever that may be
I’ll go about working on a project that I’ve been creating for awhile now
Well not for too long
Long enough to feel some slight distain towards it whenever I try and immerse myself in it
Long enough to be bothered by its problems and personality like it was a living creature
Long enough to audibly say ‘ahhh shit’ whenever I get a breakthrough of any kind
Long enough to have its grey cloud over me even when I’m not working on it
Long enough for me to Google the definition of ‘perfectionist’ at least once a week
Okay damn
It has been too long
I should really dedicate some time to getting my life on track
I’ve taken too much time off
But who wants to dive into that messy endeavor
Plus it feels like my subconscious is always gnawing at it anyways
Not that it’s completely off track
More like a half on half off thing
Grinding because one side isn’t properly in place
Metal on metal
Sparks flying
High pitch screech
Signs of disaster looming in the near future
That sort of thing
I guess I’ll consume content and entertainment and etc.
Fill my head to the brim
Hope it pushes out some purgeable material and takes its place instead
I mean what else is a human being supp-
Never mind
I’m too distracted and too impatient to finish this shit
I did give far warning that this was rushed writing
But apologies anyways

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